If I could turn back time, I would spend every reborn hour determinedly loving you. There is nothing I miss more than the chance I had to wile away the days with you, to show you how much I cared–and still care–about you.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching My Mad Fat Diary and it’s a little scary to relate to a character so wholly but at the same time realise what you missed out on. My highschool days and some days after were filled with so much goodness–good friends. If I could turn back time, I would want to do it all over again, but instead fill those moments with a little more of myself.
I’d like to think I know myself better now than I did before and so I can say that I trust myself better, too. There are people I wish I could have spent more time with because they were there for me through all the darkness and they’re here with me now, even though not really. There are people who I never got to know as well as I want to now because I never saw how much they cared about me just for being me.
It’s scary what time can do. It strips away all pretences and you finally see what you were hiding behind. It reminds you of what you did wrong and it teaches you that you cannot, in fact, go back.
If I could turn back time, I would spend more of it in love with the right people. Picnics and lunches and movies and I would have one less thing to regret right now.